Self-Betrayal

I recieved my bachelors degree at BYU, in Environmental Science.  Every semester, my schedule was full of classes such as air quality, environmental biology, soil science, environmental law, ecology, etc. Most days I left class feeling completely disappointed in people and all the ways we are destroying the environment and ourselves (if interested, read Collapse by Jared Diamond) I believe it was my second semester of freshman year when I banned all plastic and paper products. The banned list would eventually become very long including, but not limited to, elevators, automatic doors, charcoal cooked food, perfect produce, and for a time, products from China. Even when I would visit my family on breaks, they would respectfully hide their plastic cups and plates and use regular ones. Then my senior year I took microbiology. If you have a family history of OCD, you really should avoid this class. They send you home with swabs to test things, and then bring them back to the lab to culture and use the microscopes to see what you find. I learned that hand towels are disgusting. I now allow myself one costco bag of paper towels per year. I die a little inside every time I use one, but some things just need to be cleaned with a paper towel!

The Emily in this pic would beat me up.

Novel Quotes

I have not had very much going on the last couple weeks in school. It has been the calm before the storm that will ensue with finals quickly approaching. With all my extra free time I flew through four wonderful books. I have always held the greatest respect for my books. I think it is a mortal sin to fold the corner of a page or scribble in it. But my sister recently recommended that I highlight or underline my favorite lines. She says once you do that, the book truly becomes yours. Reading always gives me so much I want to write about but since I know I am not going to have the time, I thought I would share some of my favorite quotes from these books.

“I don't want to be married just to be married. I can't think of anything lonelier than spending the rest of my life with someone I can't talk to, or worse, someone I can't be silent with.” -Mary Ann Shaffer, The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society

“Reading good books ruins you for enjoying bad books.” - Mary Ann Shaffer, The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society  

“Naturally curly hair is a curse, and don't ever let anyone tell you different.” -Mary Ann Shaffer, The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society

“I am old enough to know only too well my good and bad qualities, which were often one in the same.” -Lisa See, Snow Flower and the Secret Fan   

“Read a thousand books, and your words will flow like a river.” -Lisa See, Snow Flower and the Secret Fan  

“When I knew I couldn't suffer another moment of pain, and tears fell on my bloody bindings, my mother spoke softly into my ear, encouraging me to go one more hour, one more day, one more week, reminding me of the rewards I would have if I carried on a little longer. In this way, she taught me how to endure--not just the physical trials of footbinding and childbearing but the more tortuous pain of the heart, mind, and soul. She was also pointing out my defects and teaching me how to use them to my benefit. In our country, we call this type of mother love teng ai. My son has told me that in men's writing it is composed of two characters. The first means pain; the second means love. That is a mother's love.” -Lisa See, Snow Flower and the Secret Fan

"And when I went to sit down on the edge of the bed, that's when it started pouring out of me, all the water, pouring stead and hard, slippery down my legs, and for a second, I worried that I was having a fish, not a baby."-Sheri Reynolds, The Rapture of Canaan

“There's only so much room in one heart. You can fill it up with love or you can fill it with resentment. But every bit of resentment you hold takes space away from the love. And the resentment don't do no good noway, but look what love can do.” -Sheri Reynolds, The Rapture of Canaan

Day at NASCAR

Before my friends and family disown me, I will explain why I was at NASCAR yesterday. My PA class worked a concession stand at the race to raise money. I am the activity chair for my class which entails planning activities and fundraising for a big party at the end of school. I have been working on this event and dreading this day for weeks! I was very nervous about being the team lead and getting through it all with 30+ of my classmates but I really surprised myself and it turned out to be a pretty good day.

Before yesterday, you could not have paid me to go to NASCAR but it wasn't as bad as I thought. When the race started the noise level was unbelievable. I ran out to see and when all the race cars drove by, the stadium shook and the thousands of fan were on their feet screaming on top of all the noise of the cars. It was very exciting. Don't get me wrong, it got boring fast. But if you ever do get a chance to go, the first ten minutes will be worth it.

It was an incredibly long day. I was on my feet for thirteen hours and I have seven blisters to show for it. It gave me a huge appreciation for what Taylor does every day. He worked at NASCAR for eighteen hours, so I really can't feel too sorry for myself. I can better empathize with him and the hard work that he does. I have spent all of today just trying to recover. I can't find one muscle that doesn't hurt.

Before the race, I managed to sneak my way into the inner circle, through the car pit and into the VIP party to visit Taylor and grab some yummy sandwiches.

Mama

This past weekend Taylor and I went to a concert with some friends. It was a great soul/blues/jazz band called Soul Track Mind from Austin. The lead singer picked me out in the crowd (I may have been hollering a lot) and proceeded to tell Taylor that this next song was for Taylor, about me. It was called "Look at her Mama" you can listen to it here. Basically the song says if you want to know what a girl is going to be like later on in life, just look at her mama, that will tell you everything you need to know. Everyone had a great laugh about it, but it got me thinking. My mom has had to overcome a lot on her own this last year and I am really proud of her.  She has come a long way and I really admire her strength, sense of humor and her courage. Plus, she looks amazing! Love you mama!

ODD

I am going to share with you a story my mom loves to tell about me.  When I was 2 years old, my mom was cooking and told me not to touch the stove because it was hot and I would burn myself. I reached out my hand toward the burner and my mother grabbed it and told me again very sternly not to touch the stove. As soon as I could, I reached out again and touched the hot stove. I burned my hand pretty bad but didn't shed one tear. My mom says I would never give her the satisfaction of letting her know she was right.

To be honest, I have been diagnosed before by medical professionals with oppositional defiance disorder, (O.D.D.) which I always thought was a load of crap. I was recently studying for a psychology test and came across a description of children with O.D.D. I could not help but think of this story. Now I'm sure lots of kids touch hot burners after being told not to, but I am most proud of the fact that I managed not to scream or cry. After discussing it with my mom we both decided I do not have ODD, I am just very "strong-willed". I like the sound of that better.

She also reminded me that on my first day of kindergarten, I refused to let her or my dad take me to school. I wanted to walk to school, which was a few blocks away, all by myself. I told her that I knew where the school was and I could get there on my own. That same day was my sister's first day of sixth grade and my mom could not pry my sister from her. My sister wanted my mom to stay with her at school the entire day. I don't think you could find two sisters more opposite than us.  Our poor parents

This story would not be complete without some cute/embarrassing pictures.

Notice my shirt says "Sarah", the joys of being a second child.