MAYDAY

I have been waiting for this month for a very long time. This is the month I finally graduate PA school. I also get to celebrate my six year anniversary and my 26th birthday. I am also busy planning the graduation banquet for my class. Somehow with so much going on, I also thought it was a good idea to take my board exam this month. I thought I would be sitting on cloud 9 right about now but mostly I just feel stressed, terrified, anxious and panicked. I am currently in the middle of my final exams. I am also trying to find a job and look for a new place to live. Every night I am having night mares about failing my finals and/or my boards. And if I do manage to survive this month, I will actually start practicing medicine, which right now seems like a big joke. How can I possibly be ready? What if I kill someone? So I'm sending out an SOS. Any prayers, good thoughts, positive vibes or whatever else can help would be greatly appreciated

So happy on my last day of clinical rotations.

Trying to survive one of our 9 hour days of board review.

Cozumel

Taylor and I have both been way too busy. Taylor being swamped at work and I, in my clinical rotations. Imagine starting a brand new job, every month, for 13 months straight. Add in a lot of studying and tests and that is what it feels like to be in rotations. Every month I am in a new place, with new people and working in a different specialty. I spend the majority of my time feeling lost and incompetent. Just when i get the hang of things, figure out my way around the hospital and how to use the computer system, everything changes. So when Christmas break came around we jumped at the chance to escape with some friends to a warm beach for our first scuba diving trip.

We went scuba diving almost every day. The dive boat would pick us up on this pier in the morning and we had an incredible time seeing sharks, turtles, rays, lobsters, crabs and so many beautiful coral and fish. Taylor and I have both been bit by the scuba bug. We can't wait to go again!

My beach bum

On the dive boat

Every night we enjoyed the most spectacular sunsets

I couldn't resist some beach yoga.

The Psych Ward

Time has been flying by since I started my clinical rotations. I have been so busy and moving around way too much. I am currently on my 4th month of living away from home. Since Halloween is tomorrow, I thought it was appropriate to talk about my last rotation, psychiatry. I started out in the psych ER, in downtown Fort Forth. Keep in mind that there is a wide spectrum of the severity of mental illness and I was dealing with the most severe cases. I don't care how much time you spend studying, how many textbooks you read or how many lectures you attend, you will not be fully prepared for what you will face in the psych ER. One of my first interviews went like this...

Me: "Do you ever hear any voices that other people don't hear?"
Pt: "Yes"
Me: "Do you hear them right now?"
Pt: "Yes"
Me: "What are the voices saying?"
Pt: "They are telling me to kill you."

Studying medicine can make you afraid of many different diseases. But some severe mental illnesses can mean loosing everything you thought you were, your personality, the core of what makes you, you. Loosing your ability to have close relationships and maintain a job. Loosing all sense of what is real and what is a hallucination or delusion. Now that is truly terrifying and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

The hallway in the hospital to the psych ward.

Paris

Taylor and I have a tradition of taking a trip every year, to celebrate our anniversary. I knew this year I wasn't going to be able to get away in May, during my surgery rotation. So after our time in Spain, we headed to the most romantic city in the world for a few days.

 Notre Dame is celebrating it's 850th anniversary this year. The cathedral received all new bells and hundreds of people gathered around to hear them for the first time. It was so beautiful, I was fighting back tears.

 Of course we had to add our own love lock to the bridge.

Taylor tossing the keys into the river.

Luxembourg Gardens

The Louvre

So happy my brother was visiting Paris with his study abroad class!

Found Moby and Bella's doppelgangers at this cemetery.

Sacre Coeur Basilica

Lighting a candle for my grammie.

Taylor always keeps me laughing.

More laughing.

Musee D'Orsay

The climb to our flat

Our view

Macaroons

I do have to say that as much as Taylor and I love traveling together, some of the most fun times we have are just making dinner together at home and renting a movie. I'm so looking forward to the next five years!